I wanted to post a blog today about something uplifting. Was going to post my weekly Spotify playlist. But, honestly, I can’t even listen to it right now. I woke up and did my usual routine, went to my internship. I couldn’t move on to do any work because my mind is so racked with thoughts about the lives that were taken Wednesday night.
It’s hard to think of what to write about, but I don’t know how to cope and make sense of things without putting it in words. And it’s not going to make sense, it never will, because terrorism and racism and hate do not make sense.
These 9 innocent lives were taken in a church, where you should be safe and you should feel sheltered. And they were taken because of a spineless, terrifying reason.
We live in a world where hate is on our doorsteps everyday. We can’t walk out of our front doors without seeing it on our streets or in our headlines. We can’t feel safe to let our children be alone. We can’t feel safe now, even in our houses of religion. And yes, we. We all are afraid. We all are mourning. We all need to be a community, because we all need this to end.
This isn’t politics. This isn’t black and white and Asian and Middle Eastern nor is it Christians vs Muslims vs Judaism. This is forgetting the media, this is forgetting the asinine explanations. This is forgetting that there’s anyone who may think to detract that we are a country made up of all different individuals. I hope that this is finally the last straw. I’m sick of the black community living in fear. I’m sick of any American not feeling like they belong, or they’re unsafe. I’m seriously so tired of all of this and I’m really tired of not doing anything about it.
I know I’m tired of seeing our people gunned down. I know I’m sick of hearing these reports what seems weekly. 9 lives. 9 people. 9 families affected. 9 groups of friends. 9 careers. 9 partners. 9 of everything that you take for granted in your life, they will no longer ever see. Their families will no longer feel safe. Their community will no longer be light hearted, joyous. Their church will never feel the same.
It’s sad that it’s not what we hear in the media. We hear race, we hear divide, we hear possible petitions for the killer. We don’t hear – What happened was just wrong, with no explanations. What happened is something we need to end. What happened should bring us to silence. What happened should make you go home to your family, grieve with them for your fellow Americans’ lives, and then hold them and be thankful for them. The black community is afraid, and it shouldn’t ever be that way. No community should feel threatened. No lives should be considered on a weighted scale.
What happened at the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church should not spend a week in the news and disappear but rather be held and remembered everyday, a lesson in the long road we have to teach future generations that we are all equal. We are all a community. And we do all stand together.
I read posts on social media yesterday that hurt, that I felt detracted from the victims and their families. The words focused on dividing all of our communities, which I understand will happen in times of great distress and sadness. But, I can’t stand by that and feel okay. The community of Charleston needs all of the love it can – and what race it comes from is not going to matter. We need to be the ones to ban together if we want this hate to end. It’s not going to be one community. It’s going to be all of us.
A lot of men and women fought too hard for this to regress. I just feel like that needs to be remembered.
My thoughts and prayers are with Reverend Pickney’s, 41, family and the congregation. For Tywanza Sanders, 26. For Cynthia Hurd, 54. For Sharonda Coleman-Singleton, 45. For Reverend Depayne Middleton Doctor, 49. For Susie Jackson, 87. For Ethel Lance, 70. For Reverend Daniel Simmons Senior, 74. For Myra Thompson, 59. And with the survivors, who are brave beyond compare.
Speak up against and about this.